So today I get up, get ready, and go to church like any other Sunday. With the expectation of God moving through the service and through lives in a big way. I didnt know that one of the lives touched would be mine. Sunday school was about Joshua and the battle of Jericho. And how they had to fully rely on God for everything, and although the battle looked like more than they could handle; they trusted God and marched and marched and marched and marched. Very patiently and quietly did what God told them to do, and on the 7th day they marched around the city 7 times and on the 7th time the wall came down and the vitory was theirs! Wow! Why don't I handle situations like that? Just listen to God, and do what He says? Get over the fact that Im not God jr. and shut up long enough to hear what God is saying. That was lesson #1.
Then we sang a song in choir that was about us being willing to do what God says..and how nothing is impossible for Him. Then the sermon was from judges, about self pity, and how it can be very destructive in your life because it takes your focus off the Lord, and takes over your life because we become so wrapped up in it that we cant see past it.
ok--- sunday school was about listening and obeying what God tells you to do, the song was about being willing, and the sermon about getting over yourself and focusing primaraly on God.... Do you think that God is trying to tell me something?? ummmmm... YES!!!!! Lately, all I have been able to think about is why things are not going the way that I planned and wanted them to.... Why aren't things going my way?!Why cant I find a good medical job, why wont anyone even take a look at my resume?? Why does somthing have to be wrong with me in the way of having children?? Why do the doctors way that I cant ever have kids??? I dont understand!!!! Why am I 22, and single to the upmost degree. Is something wrong with me?? I mean..I want to be a wife to a Godly man and be called mama and take care of someone so much it hurts.And it seems like that will never happen. Why is school so hard??!! Why do friends say one thing and do another??!! I thought so much about this that it really took preference of everything. My attitude, my outlook, my trust, taking time for God, bible reading, everything that was of value. The most important being God. So the deal was, weather I wanted to admit it or not... I was running, and spalshing, and wallowing in- yes im going to say it- self pity..... Realizing this was quite a smack in the face. I would be the first to say that "Oh, Everything is fine, and I'm ok, and life is swell!!" When in all reality Im mopey and moody... Well Im here to tell you that, this mopey and moody Emily McDaniel is no more!!! No, I do not have a job, but thats because the one that God has for me hasnt come along.. but I know it will. And doctors may say that there is no chance of me ever having kids, but I serve a living God!!! And if He wants me to have kids, I WILL! And, YES I am 22 and single, and thats ok! Because God has someone special...someone who will love God more than he will love me!! And Yes school is hard, but thats no reason to give up!!!!! And Yes sometimes people say one thing and do another, but everyone is human, and no one is perfect! Forgive and GET OVER IT! I am healthy, and whole, and of a good mind, and I have a loving family and friends, and most importantly.... I am loved by God who sent his son to die for me!!! That in itself says that I am somebody!! So no more woe is me.... nope... Im done with that! I am alive and well, and God is good.... So I'm happy!!! :)
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